Fragmente ireligioase


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“Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all”

Heinrich Heine


“There will be sleeping enough in the grave”

Benjamin Franklin


"There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out."
Richard Dawkins

"The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry."
Richard Dawkins


"It is grindingly, creakingly, crashingly obvious that if Darwinism was really a theory of chance, it could not work."
Richard Dawkins


"...it is a telling fact that, the world over, the vast majority of children follow the religion of their parents rather than any of the other available religions."
Richard Dawkins


"Like computer viruses, successful mind viruses will tend to be hard for their victims to detect. If you are the victim of one, the chances are that you won't know it, and may even vigorously deny it."
Richard Dawkins



"No doubt soaring cathedrals, stirring music, moving stories and parables, help a bit. But by far the most important variable determining your religion is the accident of birth."
Richard Dawkins


"...the likelihood is that, in 100,000 years time, we shall either have reverted to wild barbarism, or else civilisation will have advanced beyond all recognition--into colonies in outer space..."
Richard Dawkins

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of."


Paul-Henri, baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

"Tolerance and freedom of thought are the veritable antidotes to religious fanaticism."



School Superintendent on "The Simpsons" episode #100 (More Info)

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."

Category:Humor

Flo Kennedy (More Info)

"It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses."


Henry Louis Mencken (More Info) (1880-1956)

"If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder."



"Puritanism- The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

Source: A Book of Burlesques, "Sententiae" 1920



"Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell."



"The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions a minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him a ride."

Source: Prejudices: Third Series - 1917


Martin Sheen (More Info) (Born in 1940)

"I'm one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother"


Gustaf Lindborg - The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail


Deaths in the Bible. God - 2,270,365 not including the victims of Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc because no specific numbers were given. Satan - 10


Frater Ravus - Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions.


Salvador Dali - Thank god I'm an atheist...


Christopher Hitchens - What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof


Jesse Ventura - Religion is a crutch for the weak minded.


David Viaene - Gods dont kill people. People with Gods kill people


Jon Stewart (Daily Show) - Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.


Voltaire - It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.


Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb
itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a
maudlin cosmos of nothingness.


Garbage In -- Gospel Out.


If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
-- Clarence Day


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
-- Philip K. Dick


"The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell."
-- St. Augustine


So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell


Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
-- Mary Ellen Kelly


Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.
-- Emile Henry Gauvreay


"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"


I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

Life is a zero sum game.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Hooray for most things!

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.

Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

“A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'm messed up out of my mind on Jeeesus Chriiist”

- George Carlin, comedian cu activitate de peste 50 de ani. www.GeorgeCarlin.Com


Idiot, n.:
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Gandhi once asked: “What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?”


The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.
-- Mario Cuomo


"They make a desert and call it peace."
-- Tacitus (55?-120?)


Dawn, n.:
The time when men of reason go to bed.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"


Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
-- Eric Hoffer


Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.


The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.



This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't.
-- Hofstadter


Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.


Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

Horngren's Observation:
Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
-- Woody Allen

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III

We have only two things to worry about: That things will never get back to normal, and that they already have.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

Ambrose Bierce:

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough.
-- Niels Bohr

If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.

"One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself… "
- Leonardo da Vinci


"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."
-- George McGovern

Howard Zinn:

“If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates”

“(Nationalism is) a set of beliefs taught to each generation in which the Motherland or the Fatherland is an object of veneration and becomes a burning cause for which one becomes willing to kill the children of other Motherlands or Fatherlands”

“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.”

“War itself is the enemy of the human race.”




Proştii mor, prostia e nemuritoare.

Cel mai trist lucru în dragoste este faptul că de cele mai multe ori sufletul ţi-l răpeşte exact acela care nu are nevoie de el.

Celebru este unul care începe să trăiască după ce a murit.

Omul este un suveran glorios de coroana lui care este gândirea, şi tot atât de sceptrul lui care este expresia.


citat din Ion Luca Caragiale

The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully.
-- Russian Proverb

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion.

If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.

Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.

Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.

States are not moral agents, people are, and can impose moral standards on powerful institutions.

The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history.

Noam Chomsky

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree".

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard

"The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do."
-- McCloctnik the Lucid

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Politician, n.:
An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.
-- Voltaire

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher von Braun

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
-- Aristotle

"Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."
-- Johnny Hart

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
-- Lily Tomlin

"It's bad luck to be superstitious."
-- Andrew W. Mathis

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
hands for masturbation."
-- Lily Tomlin

Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
-- Monty Python

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
in my name at a Swiss bank.
-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

"There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain."
-- Baron Rothschild, ca. 1800

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on
weather forecasters.
-- Jean-Paul Kauffmann

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb

"A University without students is like an ointment without a fly."
-- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin

Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.

If you want divine justice, die.
-- Nick Seldon

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
-- Vroomfondel

"Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt." -Herbert Hoover, former U.S. President

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
-- Voltaire

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

The Roman Rule
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
-- Nikita Khrushchev

Hatred, n.:
A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.”

“Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.”

“We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.”

“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.”

“I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.”

“You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.”

“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.”

They proved that if you quit smoking it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.

People pay lip service to saving the planet, but they don't --they fail to make the big leap that if you want to save the planet, kill your fucking self. The planet will be saved without you. And what a delightful place it'll be. Welcome. It's a new thing I'm working on called "The Comedy of Hate." Join in.

And I'll tell you something too. That's starting to annoy me about UFOs, the fact that they cross galaxies or universes to visit us, and always end up in places like — Fyffe fucking Alabama. Maybe these aren't super-intelligent beings, you know what I mean?

“We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.”



Bill Hicks, comedian, auto-intitulat "The Dark Poet"

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
-- Will Rogers

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Religion is like a penis.

It's fine to have one.
It's fine to be proud of it.
But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around,
And PLEASE don't try to shove it down my children's throats

Ne doar in pula ca ai suflet
Noi nu futem stafii!
-- Parazitii, 2010

Christians are actually really friendly people that only want to assimilate your brain into their mode of thinking. Nothing wrong with that.
@Anti_intellect

I sympathize afresh with the mighty Voltaire, who, when badgered on his deathbed and urged to renounce the devil, murmured that this was no time to be making enemies.
-- Christopher Hitchens, eseu in Vanity Fair, 3.9.2010

Mihai Eminescu:

"Religia - o fraza de dînsii inventata
Ca cu a ei putere sa va aplece-n jug,
Caci de-ar lipsi din inimi speranta de rasplata,
Dupa ce-amar muncirati mizeri viata toata,
Ati mai purta osînda ca vita de la plug?

Cu umbre, care nu sunt, v-a-ntunecat vederea
Si v-a facut sa credeti ca veti fi rasplatiti?
Nu! moartea cu viata a stins toata placerea -
Cel ce în asta lume a dus numai durerea
Nimic n-are dincolo, caci morti sunt cei muriti."


Religion. It`s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. Charlie Chaplin

“Religion is comparable to a childhood neurosis.” ~Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), founder of psychoanalysis

"Every true, eternal problem is an equally true, eternal fault; every answer an atonement, every realization an improvement."
- Otto Weininger

"The freethinker has the same right to discredit the beliefs of Christians that the Orthodox Christians enjoy in destroying reverence, respect, and confidence in Mohammedanism, Mormonism, Christian Science, or Atheism." ~Theodore Schroeder, Constitutional Free Speech Defined and Defended in an Unfinished Argument in a Case of Blasphemy (1919). Main source: The Encyclopedia of Unbelief

"Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
- Rodney Dangerfield

Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without
brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.
-- Wizard of Oz

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. ~ Thomas Paine

"It's hard not to take seriously a bizarre collection of antiquated superstitions that are furiously waved in our faces in our schools, on television, in our politics and even on newspaper editorial pages. That we take the intellectually bankrupt beliefs of religion seriously is precisely why we do question it, and will continue to question it, in our boring way: by simply speaking out."
P. Z. Myers

"The taming and domestication of religion is one of the unceasing chores of civilization." - Hitch

"Religion encourages stupidity and an insufficient sense of reality." ~Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons." — Anaïs Nin

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect." — Samuel Johnson

"Before you echo 'Amen' in your home or place of worship, think and remember...a child is listening." — Mary Griffith

"In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all, be a sheep." — Albert Einstein

"We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass." — George Carlin

I'm glad to know that we all believe in the same nothing.
Glen Davidson

Although it is true that we do call his god many different names. Maybe that's how Oblivious Obama can consider us godless folk part of his name-calling nation — we do call on god with words like abhorrent, abominable, absurd, acrimonious, appalling, asinine, atrocious, awful, bad, bad-tempered, bananas, barbaric, barbarous, batty, bitter, bloodthirsty, bonkers, brutish, callous, certifiable, childish, cold-blooded, concocted, contemptible, corrupt, cracked, crackers, crazed, cruel, cuckoo, cutting, dangerous, demented, deplorable, depraved, deranged, despicable, detestable, disagreeable, disgusting, dishonest, dishonorable, disreputable, distasteful, disturbed, dreadful, dreamed-up, evil, execrable, fanciful, fatuous, ferocious, fictional, fictitious, fiendish, fierce, foolish, foul, foul, frightful, frivolous, harsh, hateful, heartless, homicidal, hostile, idiotic, inane, inhuman, iniquitous, insipid, insufferable, intolerable, invented, loathsome, loco, loony, loopy, ludicrous, mad, made-up, make-believe, malevolent, malign, malignant, mean, merciless, monstrous, murderous, mythical, mythological, nasty, nauseating, nefarious, noisome, nonexistent, nuts, objectionable, obnoxious, obscene, offensive, pettish, petty, poisonous, pretend, psycho, psychotic, quarrelsome, querulous, rancorous, raving mad, remorseless, repellent, reprehensible, repugnant, repulsive, ridiculous, ruthless, sadistic, savage, schizophrenic, screwy, senseless, sickening, spiteful, storybook, stupid, terrible, unbalanced, unconscionable, unhinged, unpalatable, unpleasant, unprincipled, unsavory, unscrupulous, unspeakable, unstable, vapid, venomous, vile, vile, villainous, vindictive, violent, wicked, and wrongful. I could go on, but I thought I'd be nice and leave out the more scatological and pornographic terms we apply to "that God" and his batty believers.

One diverse nation, yes. Under the thumb of a god, no.
-- P.Z. Meyers


God is the ultimate 404 Not Found error.


“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
Buddha



"All formal dogmatic religions are fallacious and must never be accepted by self-respecting persons as final. Fables should be taught as fables, myths as myths, and miracles as poetic fancies. To teach superstitions as truths is a most terrible thing. The mind of a child accepts them, and only through great pain, perhaps even tragedy, can the child be relieved of them"

Hypatia



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